Emily Em Fields
by Calliesbitch
Summary: Missing Scenes: The girls never really get their entire story told. I re-watched every episode and filled in the blanks for Emily's story, along with recaps to help! I hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

So, being a lesbian. I love lesbian action. I love PLL. But, there is just not enough Emily for me and all the girls significant others just disappear from time to time in the show. So, I decided I wanted to fill in the blanks. =D YAY, I hope this works as planned.

The plan is to re-watch all the episodes and fill in the missing pieces! HAPPY READING, comment if you would like all suggestions are loved and appreciated!

AN- I don't own a damn things so don't send the police to my casa!

**Season 1 Episode 1 **

**The Stoner and The Swimmer**

**Recap: Emily helps Maya move her things into the new house. Maya offers Emily weed.  
**

Maya watched as Emily followed her hands from the mint container to the small brown wrapper packing in the weed tight. "So, why did you start swimming?" Emily widened her eyes at the intrusiveness of the new mysterious girl but she began to tell her story anyway. She watched Maya bring the wrapper to her lips; she extended her tongue and lightly touched the paper to wet the edges. Emily's tummy began to dance as she was lost in Maya's movements.

Emily slowly began to lose her training of thought and her words became jumbled as her thoughts were taking over by the many things she could do with that tongue. Emily rolled her eyes looking away trying to regain composure. Maya sealed the blunt resting it in one hand and moved the other to Emily's knee bringing back Emily's attention, "If I'm making you uncomfortable we can stop." Emily was locked into the dark onyx eyes sitting across from her. "Wh-Why would I be uncomfortable?" She tried to slightly laugh off the awkward feelings building inside her.

Maya smiled seeing through Emily's attempt to brush off the tension in the air. She shook the blunt rapidly for a moment. "Oh!" Emily shook her head remembering, "I'm fine. It's my first time but you only live once right?" She shrugged uneasily. Emily was a very good girl, a jock, and she knew this was wrong but there was no saying no those eyes. Maya had lock in on her like vulture on a wounded animal.

Emily knew if she said no that would end this and she would leave. She didn't want to leave. She was enjoying the banter between them however innocent she thought it was. She was also loving the touching. It has been over a year since Emily had been touch by a girl or any girl besides Ali. Emily's stomach knotted at this thought and the site of Maya lighting the blunt.

Emily had never done this before and she knew she was going to looking like an amateur which is not the best quality when trying to impress a girl. Maya took in a drag and held it for a few moments before releasing it. Her lips pushed together as the white cloud escaped her lips. Emily took in the smooth texture and pink tint of her lip stick. She offered it over the pink stained blunt to Emily. She smiled innocently and was hesitant to take it.

"I really can't," Emily put her hand up slightly to protest, "we have swim meets and this would show up on a test. They'd disqualify me." Maya smiled. "Do you trust me?" "I barely know you." Emily laughed as she rolled her eyes at the absurd question. Maya scooted herself over the naturally tan skinned girl she had on her bed. Their knees were touching now and she placed her hand on top of Emily's for support. She was inches from her face and she looked up at Emily once she had positioned herself.

Emily swallowed deep at the invasion of space. She kept her eyes locked on Maya's. "Do you trust me?" Maya spaced out her words seductively trying to entice Emily. She nodded her head unable to form words as Maya intimidated her and overwhelmed with her aggressive motions.

Maya held the blunt up to her face, "When I blow, inhale," she instructed. Emily nodded to comply. She was unable to speak as the beautiful brown skinned girl was moving in and out of her comfort space. Maya turned the blunt inside and cupped her hands around Emily's mouth and nose. She moved in close their lips almost touching. Emily could feel the closeness of their skin and every hair on her body stood on end. The chills ran down her spine and her breathing became shallow and her tummy began to fly wide now.

Maya blew and Emily closed her eyes inhaled deeply letting her chest and diaphragm taking in as much of the polluted air her lungs would allow. Maya slowly moved back taking in the change of breathing and expressions on Emily's face. She wanted to read her to know if she felt the same attraction between them.

Emily held in her breath for a moment before exhaling partially trying to feel the effect but mostly to try to relax herself from the sensation Maya had just given her. "Well, someone enjoyed that _a little too much_." Maya joked trying to receive a reaction. Emily falsely laughed at the remembrance of Ali's jokes on her sexuality. She bashfully looked away from Maya unsure how to take her comment. Maya reached out to touch her thigh and moved back in closer. "Did I do something?" She used her concern as way to close the gap of space between them.

Emily was unsure if it was the house or seeing Aria but Ali was all around her today. Emily resisted the urge to turn back away from Maya and looked into her eyes. The girls were now in a frighteningly close position, their faces and lips only inches apart. "No," she shook her head, "it was nice." Emily closed her eyes at the dumbness of her statement, mentally slapping herself, NICE! Way to go Em!

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I could do it again?" She eased off some so the closeness would not become awkward. Maya study Emily's face trying to read her intentions. She felt Emily's attraction for her how her hair stands up and her breathing changes but Emily was so guarded. Did she not know she liked girls or was she just timid? "I… um… I actually think I need to be going. My mom was starting dinner when I left." Emily moved herself off the bed and she weakly smiled at her lie.

Maya was intrigued by this new shy beauty and she put out the blunt, "Would you like to walk to school together?" Maya stood up walking to the edge of her bed somewhat blocking Emily from the door. "I would like that." Emily smiled and moved around the bed in front of Maya standing closer than she normally would to a "friend".

Maya took one of Emily's arms and wrapped it into hers, "Well, allow me to walk you out as a good host should." She smiled and extended her other arm toward the door. They walked over to the door arm in arm both girls' hair tickling the other as it stood on end. Maya released Emily so she could be the first through the open door. Emily walked down hall overwhelmed with an eerie feeling.

This house was fair beyond creepy even worse now with Ali missing. She felt eyes watching her as she started looking around. "Is everything ok?" Maya took in the sudden change of Emily's mood. "I'm fine." She brushed off the spooky feeling and hurried for the door.

Maya opened the door, "Don't be a stranger." She hung on the door propping one foot at an angle allowing Emily to exit. "Never," she returned, "we are walking together tomorrow. 7:35?" Maya, "Someone is official, 7:35." She motioned her fingers to quote Emily. She shrugged, "I just don't like to be late and it will give us plenty of time." Maya caught her unintentional slip, "plenty of time for what?"

Emily's eyes widen briefly, "to get to school." "And hang out and talk?" Maya said the avoid phrase. Emily nodded shyly and drifted her head of the side as she moved out the door, "that too." She started down the steps to avoid any more mishaps.

Maya had gotten her answer. Emily was attracted to her and she was happy with this newly developed situation, "Goodbye Ms. Fields." Emily did not look back but throw her hand up in parting and continued walking home.

**The Locker Room Prank**

**Recap: Emily finds the letter from -A in her gym locker.  
**

Emily slammed the locker shut as Spencer departed; leave it to Alison to ruin a good thing. Emily knew the evil reign of Alison DiLaurentis would never end. If Alison was back what did this mean for Emily? She had guarded this secret so long and now she had found Maya or at least thought she had. But, what about her feelings for Alison could they be suppressed?

Alison was never going to be with Emily the way she secretly wanted. Alison had made that clear many times with her embarrassing statements. But, Maya seemed opened to many possibilities. Yet, if Alison was back what would she do to see that never happened. She knew Ali always had to win regardless of who got hurt.

Emily pulled the locker back open feeling defeated and exploding inside. She pulled out the change of clothes and dressed herself. She need to talk to someone she felt trapped. Ali was coming after her and she knew this wasn't possible. How could Ali hide out for an entire year? Ali was good but not that good. Or was she?

Emily left her hair wet and headed out of the school the sun was setting as she stood on the sidewalk the wind moved through her hair helping to dry her semi soaked locks. The thoughts in her head raced as she fought with her feelings for the two very beautiful girls in her life. She was brought back to reality by the horn honking loudly in front of her and the screeching sound of the tires bringing Ben's car to a halt in front of her. "Someone need a ride?" She smiled insincere as she pulled opened the passenger door and climbed inside. Ben slide his hand onto her thigh as he drove off.

The car was quieter than usual and she was lost in her own thoughts. "Earth to Fields." Ben called to his spaced out girlfriend. He turned onto her street. Emily was engrossed in the thought that Ali could still be alive. Emily did not want to deal with Ben she had enough problems emerging, "Do you think you could pull over here?" Ben shot her an offended look, "What?" "I need some exercise I have a meet and I was going to walk over to Aria's." She tried to redeem herself from the abrupt request.

"I can drive you." He offered unsure why she didn't just ask. "I really need the exercise," her face turned to an annoyed look at his resistance. Ben heard her tone change and complied. He pulled over to the side and slid the shaft into park. He propped one arm on the stern wheel and leaned over the center console toward Emily.

She had seen him leaning in for a kiss and something inside her made her stomach turn. She seen his eye closing and she quickly pecked him on the lips and pushed open the door. She hopped out leaning back in for her bag taken in the shocked look on Ben's face. Ben had only ever seen Emily move like that in the water. "Thanks for the ride." She shut the door. "Um," there was a stunned pause, "your welcome." Ben was totally caught off guard by the entire situation.

He watched as Emily began to walk away and pulled off himself. Emily shook her head at the mess she was creating. She didn't understand why she was getting so upset. It was harmless, right? Ben was who Emily was supposed to be with. He swam like her, he was popular, he was cute, but Emily didn't even know his favor color nor did she really care and it started to scare her.

**An Anguish Feeling**

**Recap- Emily sees emergency team outside Maya's house the night they find Alison's body.  
**

Emily's tears poured out of her as she watched Ali's body being wheeled away. Maya was unsure how to console her she knew there was a history there that Emily was not letting on to. Maya moved toward Emily and wrapped her arms around her. Emily buried her face in Maya's jacket sobbing, gripping at her sleeves.

There were two things Emily was feeling Ali's death and Maya's safety. This was a long time coming and Emily had known since that night Ali was never coming back. The anguish she felt when Ali didn't show the next day she had already knew Ali was dead. But, to see her body being wheeled away was a slap in the face.

Maya stood there holding Emily as she cried, the crowd was getting larger and more reporters were showing. Emily's meltdown slowly turned to brief sporadic sobs. Maya moved Emily to the side of the yard, "Em, I want to take you out of here." Emily nodded her head unable to speak for fear of losing control again.

Maya wrapped her arm around Emily's back to help support her as she moves her through the crowd of people out to the side walk. Maya and Emily put some distance between themselves and the flashing lights. "I know there is more to your story. I know you probably don't want to talk about it but I'm here for you whatever you need." Maya tried to console friend but ended up sounding cliché.

"I know you are. There is _so_ much more to the story but I just can't talk about it right now." Maya slowed her speed once there was not a flicking ambulance light in sight. She eased Emily to a stop and sat herself down on the edge of the street. Emily followed behind her. "Emily everyone has secrets." Maya grabbed Emily's hand interlocking their fingers and laying it in her lap.

"You don't have to tell me all yours. You just have to let me help you." Emily was relieved for the comfort and she leaned her head over onto Maya's should sniffing as some tears escaped her eye ridges. Maya looked up at the sky. "Just because she's gone doesn't mean she isn't here."

The words sent chills down Emily's spine. There were a million phrases Maya could have chosen she chose that. Emily's tears quickly ran dry as she remembered the letter in her locker. "Will you walk me home?" Emily stood somewhat rushed yet keeping Maya's hand in hers. "Sure. But, do you want to walk like this?" Maya looked at her grasp on her hand. "Oh." Emily shook her head and let go of her hand. "I mean it is ok if you do. I don't mind."

Emily laughed and Maya returned a smile. They began walking down the street to Emily's house. "This is going to be awful for her family, for us, for everyone." Emily explained to Maya. "She was young and I'm sure she was loved. You four will need each other now that she is gone. Maybe, you should call them." Emily nodded her head as they arrived at her porch.

They leaned in for a hug choosing not to have the awkward cheek kiss this time. "I will check on you tomorrow." Maya offered as Emily started up the stairs. Emily smiled as she shut the front door and headed up stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Season 1 Episode 2**

**Morning Coffee**

**Recap: Maya find Emily on her front porch the day after Ali's funeral and they go for coffee stopping along the way to invite Spencer. **

Maya and Emily followed the shortest route to the coffee shop, "What are the other girl's names?" Maya probed. "There is Spencer." Emily gestured behind them. Maya widened her eyes and stretch her mouth, "Ms. Decaf." Emily laughed, "Aria, she has the long brown wavy hair with big puppy dog eyes. And Hannah, the curly blonde with Prada tattooed on her butt." Maya widened her eyes at Emily's harsh description of her friend. Emily was upset that Hannah had turned into the ruthless Queen B of the school.

They were all friends once and Hannah acted as if she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth not like the chubby girl they had grown up with. "How did you guys become friends?" Maya play detective for information about the girl she was crushing on. "We were all friends because of Alison." Maya nodded her head.

"What about you Ms. Inquisitive, who are you best friends?" Emily asked. Maya looked up to meet Emily's eyes as they locked in on her face memorizing ever crease and line. "I don't have multiple best friends. I am more of a family person. I share a lot with my cousins since I don't have any siblings."

"Are you parents divorced?" Maya was unsure if she hit a sensitive subject so she looked over to check Emily's response. "No, my dad is in the military." Emily's face was overcome with a sadness remembering her father. She avoided the subject when he was away. "I'm sorry. I had no idea." Maya didn't expect the response. "I hadn't heard you talk about him I thought maybe he was just not in the picture."

"It's ok." Emily was trying to avoid any more painfully tales of her life to Maya. She looked up and realized they had lost their selves in conversation, "Oh." Emily stopped and turned around in the opposite direction. "What?" Maya stopped beside Emily following her lead. "We passed the coffee shop." A chuckle escaped Mia's lips, "good conversation does that."

The both exchanged suggestive glances and continued on their way to school. "So, what exactly does one do at a sleepover? Is it really like boys imagine?" Emily grinned and shook her head, "not all over them." Maya and Emily looked to each other at the realization of what was just said. Emily tried to cover her tracks, "I mean sometimes there is dress up but mostly it is gossip, food, and movies." "I like to cuddle and watch movies." Maya nudged Emily's arm. Emily's face formed a rose tint as Maya's skin grazed hers.

The girls reached the inside of school noted by the squeaky sound of their shoes on the freshly polished floor. "I will see you after school." Maya smiled and nodded at Emily's invitation. They part ways for their lockers down the crowded hallway.

**Mid-Day Dreams-**

**Recap: After Det. Wilden interviews the girls in school and they gossip over lunch. They head to Mr. Fitz class. **

Emily finished jotting down the answer to Mr. Fitz question. She dropped the pencil and looked over to Aria who was still steady writing her usual lengthy answer. Emily's mind began to drift. The cop from early had scared her.

They had all lied to the police a million times by now about Jenna and the night with Ali. It seemed as if there was more interest in us than anyone else. She felt guilty about lying and she knew that would show on her face much like it always does.

What would happen if she went to jail? Innocent people get sent to prison all the time, right? She recalled a CNN news cast she had seen on at Spencer's tv. What would happen to her in prison? She may be athletic but prison women are fierce. The image of the big, muscle, tattooed women flashed in her head from the show. Some of the women even had crew cuts and gold teeth.

Emily propped her elbows on the desk and brought her hands to support her face as she closed her eyes in disbelief of the situation. How did everything get so messed up? Everything was going fine.

But, then Maya moves in, Ali's dead, and her boyfriend keeps asking about Maya's undies. Emily's mind quickly ran with her last thought. She pictured Maya back in the hallway talking to the other girls. Her curly hair half pulled up and resting on her shoulders. The light blue tank hugged around her thin waist and emphases her chest while the airy white oversized long sleeve shirt drapes down her. Her pants defined every curve of her lower body.

Emily removed everyone from the hallway in her version of events. Maya made her way across the empty stretch over to her as she stood in front of her open locker door. "I love that shirt on you." Emily complimented. "I like yours better off." Maya pushed Emily back into the lockers by her hips hovering over her compromised body. Emily could feel Maya's breath on her as her face was only inches away. Maya slowly started moving her shirt up exposing her tummy while keeping locked into Emily's eyes.

Aria slapped Emily's elbow startling her back to reality. Emily's face flushed, "What's with you?" Emily shook her head noticing the papers being passed forward. Aria gave her a suspicious look as she recognized Emily's daydream symptoms.

Emily shrugged at Aria's suggestive expression. The bell chimed loudly, "Thank God for small miracles," she thought to herself gathering her things. She made her way out of the classroom to the over ran hallway. She looked up from zipping her bag to Ben and Maya standing outside her classroom.

These where the two people she wished she could keep away from each other but how could she accomplish this without looking even more suspect. Ben walked over draping his arm around Emily's shoulder. Emily flashed a disconcerted smile as she made swift eye contact with Maya. "So, apparently she wears briefs and tanks." Ben flashed a charmer smile.

Emily's mouth dropped in disbelief as she elbowed him in the side and pushed his arm off. "What?" He playful laughed and rubbed his damaged ribs. "Don't you have class?" Emily snapped. Ben did have class, on the other side of school. "Fine," he rushed off after checking the hall clock.

"I am so sorry." Emily pleaded with her new friend. "I'm not. I just hope you like them." She smiled and used her shoulder to push off the locker she had been leaning on and head off down the hallway without parting words. Emily smiled to herself, flattered as the warning bell rung for the next class.

**Your Side of the Bed**

**Recap: Maya and Emily have a brief conversation about Ali and which side of the bed she prefers. **

Emily slowly traced down Maya's elongated body as she was stretched across the bed. "Did you play sports in your old school?" Maya shook her head, "No. I am not a very "spirited" person" She sat up on the bed and quoted her words with her fingers. "So, Ben is very," Emily cut off Maya, "pig headed." Emily was still upset about the incident early.

"I was going to say the handsome jock type." Emily laughed at her pit bull tendencies. "Why do you like to him?" Maya furthered her integration. "He's good swimmer. My parents like him. He is popular." Emily rambles on a few more surface details. "Those are definitely one in a million." Maya acknowledge the generalness of her answer.

Emily somewhat frustrated by the intrusiveness of Maya's question, "Why do you like Justin?" She snapped back. "He has gentle soul. He tries to understand people even when his own opinions are different. He was full of life and wants to explore and find happiness." Emily's expression changed as she heard Maya continue to describe qualities in another person. "But, he also had qualities I didn't like that pull us apart."

Maya tried to redeem herself, "He did a lot more partying than I did. He loved the ladies too." Maya slide off the bed and walked over to the seat under the window and sat down staring out onto the night. "How would you define love?" Emily smiled set back by the question, "What?"

"How would you define love?" Maya repeated herself reading more into Emily's shock. "The person you spend the rest of your life with what qualities do they have?" Emily composed the many thoughts running through her head, "Um. Well, they would be patient. It is hard to come to terms with certain situations and sometimes it takes people longer. They are honest about everything regardless of how small. They would be reliable someone I can put faith into knowing they will always be there and know it isn't just for show. They don't boost about things that are private. They would be happy to be with me. They would never take for granted any of the moments we spend together. They would be able to forgive and move forward if something happened. They would keep their selves out of situation that would cause trouble. They would stand by me through really crappy times no matter how rough it is."

Emily realized she was rambling and remembering all the reason she didn't like Ben and all the wrong things she was doing here with Maya while she was with Ben. But, in her heart she didn't feel for Ben what she felt for Maya. She didn't understand why that was missing. Was it ever there? Did it leave?

Maya smiled at the details in her answer knowing she could offer them and agreed with them, "Is Ben all of that?" Emily heard Maya's questions above the voices in her head, "What?" She was uncomfortable with the question as is if Maya was stomping around in her head stirring up her secrets. "Of course he does." Emily lied. "Someone thus profess too much." Maya called Emily on her obvious lie. Excusing it because of the situation they were going into. Maya knew she wanted Emily and she knew she could have her it was just a matter of time. A matter of waiting for her to come around and come to terms with how she felt.

Emily was feeling cornered by the questions. "I am going to get ready for bed." She moved up from the chair walking to the dresser. Emily liked her sleep and since school started so early she didn't feel horrible about turning in early. This line of questioning was starting to hit a little too close to home for one night. Plus, it was late Emily had practice and tons of homework that day and by the time Maya had arrived at her house it was already 8.

Mrs. Field's had made them dinner. It was lean and health for Emily: baked fish, grilled asparagus, and roasted parmesan potatoes. Her mom pried about Maya's former life experiences making sure her daughter was in good hands with her new friend. After an hour and a half of pure torture and really good peach pie the girls gathered their plates and heading off to the kitchen. They rinsed them, stacked in the dishwasher, and headed up stairs.

"I'm really glad your mom let me stay over." She offered as she watched Emily pull a shirt and shorts from the dresser. Maya stood making a few quick steps to grab her bag. She sat it on Emily's chair and slipped off her shoes. She unbuttoned her pants and dropped them to the ground exposing her cotton candy colored lace panties.

Emily turned around pre-occupied with her night wear chose. She looked up flabbergasted and immediately aroused. "What are you doing?" She moved toward the open bedroom doors eyes wide and pushed it shut. "I'm just getting ready for bed." Maya excused her behavior, "Should I go to the bathroom?"

Emily shook her head moving her eyes away from the newly discovered inches of flesh, "No, of course not." It wasn't like she hadn't change in front of Hannah, Spencer, Aria, and Ali before. "You act like you've never seen a naked girl before." Maya maneuvered herself of out the white sheer long sleeve shirt and ripped the blue tank top off over her head.

Emily took quick peeks but once she was down to bra and panties she turned around and started to change trying to occupy her mind. "Maya is naked in my room." This is all her brain would say like a stratched CD.

Maya slowed her pace watching Emily pulling off her clothes going down the same amount of clothing. Emily reached behind herself and unsnapped her bra pushing the straps off her shoulders. Emily felt eyes on her back and peered over her shoulder.

Maya followed Emily's body back up to realize she had been caught. "I like those panties." She complimented on the all black boy shorts with girlie white skulls with bows. She smiled and turned back as they both finishing dressing.

Emily walked to the desk once she was finished turning the lamp off leaving only the table lamp on Maya's side on. "We will have to go shopping one day and model for each other." Maya suggested. Emily slide into bed, "I'd like that." Maya joined her turning off the light and both girls snuggled in.

**The Awkward Kiss**

**Recap: The next morning Ben gives the girls a ride to school and Emily makes out with Ben in the parking lot. Hannah questions her about being comfortable with PDA.**

Emily parted from Hannah as they entered into school. She hadn't been able to fall back asleep after the "A" text and Maya had curled up on her all night. She admitted to herself that she like that feeling but she wasn't happy about how awful she felt kissing Ben.

Ben's kisses were not as sweet and soft as she imagined Maya's were. His hands were rough and coarse when they road together not smooth like Maya's the night before. Emily's body did not react the way she thought it should when Ben and her would have their make out sessions.

She thought back to the daydream she had yesterday. The way her body changed when she pictured Maya pinning her to the locker. Her blood ran fast and hot through her throwing her stomach into knots. She felt things below she had only felt with Ali.

She walked through the hallway on auto pilot watching the boys and girls kiss and painfully depart for class stretching their arms to the breaking point. It dawned on her that they had never shared that before, Ben and her. She never felt that need for him. She leaned against her locker watching Hannah and her boyfriend.

It was not like that with her and Ben. She started listing all this that she was never interested in knowing about Ben that she knew about Maya or wanted to know. The things a person interested in you should know. "What's wrong with me?" She thought to herself as she kicked the locker with the back of her shoe and pushed off. She headed for her first classes completely unprepared and pre-occupied.

The first period flew by with comparisons of Ben & Maya and Maya & Ali floating through her head. She stared out the window the entire period wondering when this started. Had she been born like this? What this something that had always been there? Was this something that was supposed to be there? Was God angry with her? Was this her punishment for lying?

She knew where this was leading to, something was wrong with her. She examined her past interactions with boys and her stolen gazes at girls. The girls in summer camp as they showered and dressed after a sweaty day's practice.

She sat in the same position every class: legs crossed staring out the window. She sat silent through lunch pushing her food about while each girl questioned her 3 or more times about what was bothering her. She put it off on not feeling well and bad fish. But, she knew the only thing not well about her was her obvious attraction to the chocolate colored beauty she had in her bed the night before.

"Great, now I want chocolate!" She shoved herself back from the healthy lunch in front of her. "Em?" Hannah questioned the abrupt interruption, "What gives?" Emily stood up grabbing her backpack, "I want a Hershey. It's the one thing I can have!" She walked away from the group of girls to the vending machine. The girls exchange concerned looks at Emily's weird behavior.

Emily pulled the candy bar from the machine and sat on the empty bench to the left. She pulled open the wrapper, broke a piece off, and shoved it in her mouth. She started to make deals with God. "God, if you take this away. I will," her mind forming good bargains as she continued to eat, "I will never do drugs again. I will never drink again. I will clean my room EVERYDAY! I will help old ladies cross the streets, go to church every Sunday, stay a virgin until I'm married. I swear I will do anything you want just PLEASE make me normal." She said Amen and crossed herself then pulled the last piece of chocolate from the wrapper.

The bell rang to end the lunch period. Emily walked to the trash to discard the wrapper and left the lunch room. She was still adding to the list of deals with God as she made her way to the next class. She felt a smoothest silk like skin run up in between her arm and side and wrap itself around hers.

"Are you ok?" Maya interrupted, "I saw you praying at lunch and eating chocolate. I knew something was wrong but it felt wrong to interrupt." Emily closed her eyes and slowed her walk. The feelings rushed back over her warm blood, racing heart, wet panties, chills, the works. She knew she couldn't win. It didn't matter what she promised God this wasn't going anywhere.

These feelings she had inside her were there to stay. She broke apart from Maya's grasp, "I have to go to class." She walked away avoiding eye contact and good bye gestures. Maya stood still feeling defeated. There was no way she was giving up that easy.

"Ms. Fields you will be mine." Maya shoved her hands into her pockets, turned on both heels and walked away. She lost her confidence momentarily but nothing could keep her from what she wanted and she wanted Emily.

**Solo in a Bar**

**Recap: Emily sits alone in the café remembering Ali after her failed attempt to confide in her mom.**

She remembered the attraction she had for Ali. She remembered the same chills she now gets with Maya. She remembered the letter she had written Ali last year confessing her love. "I like girls." She whispered to herself as she looked out into the rain.

Emily fought back her tears and repeated it to herself one last time, "I like girls." "You like what sweetie?" The nice older lady filled her glass with water. "The way the rain whirls when it's this heavy." The lady shot her an unconvinced look and moved away from the table.

Emily hung her head relieved she didn't "come out" to the lady in the café because that wouldn't be weird at all. She imagined coming in with her mom and excusing herself to bathroom, getting the same waitress and her secret being out.

Emily had no idea where to go next with this thought. She didn't know how her mom would react. They hadn't really ever spoken about this in her house. But, does any parent ever take something like this good.

Emily followed with thoughts of her father. They had always been close but would this one thing that would tear them apart. She loved her family. She wasn't ready for anything to be sat in stone. She hadn't completely made up her own mind yet.

She shook her head putting off the subject and sipping the freshly poured water. She didn't have to do anything she wasn't ready for. This was her secret and hers alone now that Ali was gone. She could keep it inside as long as she wanted. But, did she want too?


	3. Chapter 3

**Season 1 Episode 3  
**

**The Weakest Link**

**Recap- Hannah is pulled away solo for questioning.**

Aria, Emily, and Spencer exchanged looks and parted ways as Hannah was escorted away by Det. Wilden. Emily's mind was racing as she entered her class. What if Spencer was right? What if Hannah blabbed about the Jenna thing? But, why did it matter? Ali had chosen to do that not them. Why were they paying for her mistakes?

Ali had always led them down dangerous paths. Sure, they were fun but isn't everything before someone gets hurt? She remembered the time the 5 of them took Ali's parents go-cart for a test drive. Ali had let each girl drive once at full speed around an open field near her house.

It was Emily's turn, the first time she had ever driven anything, and she plunged the gas full force down the floor jerking the cart forward. The force of the car sent the two girls on the back, Aria and Spencer, flying forward off the cart. Emily turned to see if they were ok gas pedal still fully engaged. "Emily!" She heard Ali yell and she turned back around.

It was too late to stop. The cart when full force into the giant oaks lining the field. Emily flew forward against the stern wheel luck enough to place her arms around her chest for protection. Ali slide off the side of the go-cart before it was able to make contact with the tree. But, Hannah flew forward slamming her head into the Plexiglass window cracking it. Her arm had managed to hit the dash breaking it in multiple places.

The force jolted Hannah back into the seat. She was screaming pain. There was blood coming from her nose and from the gash on her head. She shadowed her hand over her broken arm unable to move or touch it.

Emily knew the situation was extremely terrible but they had all covered for Ali every time a plan went south. But, whenever it was their mistake Ali did what she did best. She grabbed her cell phone and called her help and never tried to cover for Emily.

She hung Emily out the dry. Emily spent 2 months grounded, 1 month doing house chores and a newspaper route to pay for the piece of crap cart go-cart, and even longer apologizing to Hannah.

Emily was starting to think rating on Ali was not such a bad idea anymore. Besides, it was Ali's idea. She executed the plan, how would it fall back on them?

Emily thought through her plan a tad more as she watched the teacher move around the top part of the classroom lecturing about God knows what. She could hear Ali's voice in her head condemning her for even considering selling her out.

With the phantom Ali lurking about what would this mean for her and her secret. If Emily told about the Jenna thing could "A" tell about their past and her situation with Maya? The bell chimed and she gathered her things heading back to meet with the girls.

**Creepazoid**

**Recap- Ben attacks Emily in the locker room. **

Emily stopped running once she reached the hallway bathroom. She pushed open the door with tears running down her checks. Maya was sitting on the window seal smoking. Emily froze startled by her presence. "How did you get up there?" She was almost mauled in the locker room but that was all she could say as she scaled the wall taking note of the height.

Maya laid down the blunt and hopped onto her feet. "Emily?" She rushed over to her, "What happened?" She was still wet from the pool and the small amounts of water left in her suit were slowly running down her legs. "I… um… I broke up with Ben."

Maya rubbed the tears from her face. "You really liked him?" Emily shook her head, "It isn't that." She didn't want to go into detail about the mishap in the bathroom, "It's nothing I'm fine." She wiped away her tears. "What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting on you." Maya offered. She stroked Emily's arm letting her hand run down to hers. She scooped it into hers cupping it. "Why?" Emily asked not letting go of her hand but closing her fingers around it glad she ran into someone in here. She was still somewhat startled by the entire situation.

"I wanted to ask you to go with me to the party tonight." She smiled leaving her hand in place. Her inner self could not be doing a bigger happy dance at the development of the day. "No, I think that's a bad idea." Maya continued her light pressure, "You are free women. You deserve some fun." She smiled and swung Emily's arm for encourgement.

Emily did a half smile losing it quickly. "Alright. I'll go." It was hard to say no to a pretty face. "That a girl!" Maya smiled enlarged to full capacity, "It will be great! We can take my car. " Emily nodded. There was a creaking sound that came from the bathroom door.

Emily took note and quickly dropped Maya's hand as a stranger entered into the bathroom. Maya corked one brow at Emily's movements and watched as the girl moved to one of the bathroom stalls and closed the door. "Do you need a ride home?" Maya offered, "I can't resist a damsel in distress." "I am kind of stranded." Emily confessed. Maya motioned to the door, "A ride it is."

"I should probably put on pants." She laughed at Maya's readiness. "Too bad, I was enjoying the view." Emily smirked and handed Maya her bag. Maya accepted even though deep down she hated to see Emily replace her clothes. Emily slid on her pants and flip flops. Both girls existed out of the bathroom heading toward the parking lot.

It was a quiet walk to the parking lot. Emily replayed the events from the bathroom in her head. "Emily, you ok?" Maya searched for the answer to the change in her mood. "I'm fine. It was just a bad break up." "What happened, if I can ask?" Maya said pushing opening the school building door leading out to the parking lot. "Ladies first." She stepped aside allowing Emily to pass.

Emily smiled, flattered, and walked though. "He was a little too fresh." Maya shook her head, "I hate guys like that." Emily nodded, "You have no idea." She looked up at the 3 cars left in the lot. "Which is yours?" Emily inquired. There were two cars she recognized from toilet papering them with Ali and some older girls.

"This is her." Maya leaned on the driver side door of the blue bomb shell. "Shit!" Emily exclaimed and grabbed her mouth, "I mean this is _really_ nice." Maya smiled, "It's my bribery for moving out here." "I'd take a nice bribe any day!" Emily slid her hand across the prefect paint job. "I've always wanted to hop in one." She implied a question to Maya.

Maya motioned her hand to the car, "If you hurt her I know where you live." Emily's entire face was radiating happiness. The lines near her eyes wrinkled up from the smiled, the color in her face went bright. Emily through her bag in the front seat and gripped the passenger side and threw herself in.

The car moved slightly at the sudden shift of weight. Emily's face formed a child-like grin, like getting your favorite most desired toy for Christmas. Maya opened her driver side door happy she could bring that type of smile to her face. "Enjoy." "Uh, yeah!" Emily climbed over the seat to the front, "This is one of the most awesome moments in my life." Emily exaggerated her happiness.

Both girls buckled and Maya turned over the engine. "I will drop you off and let you change and pick you up around 10?" Maya put the car in reverse. "Ok." Emily returned and the car plunged forward sending her hair flying. The sudden burst of window took Emily's breath away causing her to clinch the sit and her body rise up and she tried to catch her breath.

The girls chatted about entertainment taste as they head toward Emily's house. Emily would move her hand to face regularly to remove stray hairs that would get caught in her lip gloss. Every time, Maya would momentarily remove her eyes from the road still glances. Emily was the most stunningly beautiful person and woman she had ever met. The way Emily carried herself and the drive she had slowly began to lock Maya in, winding her around Emily's pinky.

During the car ride, Maya pried into Emily's life. She wanted to know her ambitions, her goals, her stressors, her family, her secrets, anything else Emily was willing to share. Mainly, Maya just like to look over and watch her lips move. She was taking in all she could but she loved watching those lips.

Maya was revived with hope now that Emily had called it off with Ben. Maya also returned answers to Emily questions throwing in sly flirts and mentioning her break-up with her boyfriend a few days early.

The car ride took forever; Maya took the long way home wanting to drag out their time together. Emily liked that Maya wanted to steal little moments with her. She watched as Maya would graze her elbow as it rested on the center console or her knee as she shifted gears.

The car came to a halt outside Emily's house. It took double the time to get home than normal. Emily's mom emerged from the house, "Thank heavens. I was getting worried." Emily pushed opened the door and popped up out of the car, waving to her mom. "Thanks for the ride." She turned and shut the door stealing one last look at Maya.

"I could never leave you… stranded." Emily started to turn around. "Em, you forgot something." Emily retraced her movements and reached her hand inside the car palm side up. Maya placed the goggles in her hand managing to run her finger over Emily wrist lightly.

The small touch sent shivers down Emily's body. Maya formed an amused smiled across her face that Emily could not place. She turned to walk away and Maya drove off. Emily moved up onto the porch. "I really hate those suits." Mrs. Fields offered over. "What?" Emily looked down, "Why?" Pam motioned to her chest. Emily looked down and seen her erect nipples poking through the fabric.

Emily's mouth dropped and she immediately wrapped her arms around her chest and hurried past her mom into the house. Emily was overwhelmed with embarrassment she knew Maya had seen this happen. "That was why she had that stupid look on her face!" Emily hurried upstairs to shower and get ready for the party. She tried to forget about the incident but it replayed in her head and she kicked herself every time.

**The Best Kiss Ever**

**Recap: Emily and Maya kiss for the first time in the photo both.**

Maya still had Emily's hand when they got to the pizza table. "Shit." Maya flipped open the only closed pizza box among the twenty on the counter. "I guess we'll settle for beer." "Or soda." Emily being the good girl knowing one of them had to drive home. Emily was not risking another wreck in someone else's car.

Emily's eyes wondered around the party as she searched for the missing paper. "Em?" Maya worried she had scared her with the kiss. Emily's eyes darted from one corner to another. "Em?" Maya tugged on her hand. "Huh?" Emily moved her eyes to Maya.

She could tell Maya was nervous her eyes searching Emily's face for comfort. "Are we ok?" Maya questioned. "Yeah, of course," Emily flashed her pearly whites reassuringly," Why wouldn't we be?" Emily couldn't bear to break Maya's heart but those pictures would end Emily.

She didn't know what her mom was going to do, her dad, what about the swim team. No one wants to swim and change out with a lezzie. Emily stopped herself filing the word away in her naughty pile. She wasn't a lesbian. She got to say when she labeled herself, no one else, and tonight was not the night.

"Let's dance then." Maya pulled Emily by the hand toward the dance floor. "I'm not that good." Emily tried to warn her. "Ok, you stand and I'll do the work." Maya looked back and flashed a smile. "Ok." Emily said being drug behind her.

The music was fast and bass shook the floor. Maya bent a tad forward poking out her butt and moved herself back into Emily's crotch. She started to move on her working it in slow circle motions. Emily folded her elbows up not knowing where to touch her. "Because it's much less obvious to hold your hands up like an idiot than just go with it" She thought to herself. It is what she would have done with her friends.

Maya's circular motions started to move Emily's pants creating a certain sensation she was becoming a tad too familiar with. Emily looked around finding a few people staring and backed herself away from Maya's twirking. Maya noticed the lack of support and stood up straight. "What's the matter?" Emily shook her head moving back to the wall out of the way, "Nothing. I'm just not a good dancer."

"All you have to do is hold my hips." Maya grabbed both of Emily's hands moving them to her hips. She noticed herself gripping Maya's hips tight and released them. "I know I just," Emily was feeling the pressure and her brain couldn't form a lie fast enough, "I just." "Hey." Maya reached out to her arm and cut off her sentence, "It's ok. No pressure." Emily nodded.

Maya knew Emily had become uncomfortable with the situation. She didn't want to rush this because she knew she could lose her if she pushed too hard. She wanted Emily to come to her willingly and confidently. She knew this was what Emily needed, light coercion to help her see she liked girls. Emily didn't need to be shoved into the spotlight. She was timid and shy. "You wanna get out of here?" Maya suggest. Emily nodded her head anxiously. Maya wrapped her arm through Emily's and led the way out of the crowded room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Season 1 End of Episode 3 or Beginning of 4**

**This idea came to me after I posted Chapter 3!**

**I Can't Shake This Feeling**

**Maya drops Emily off after the party. Emily thanks Toby and heads home.**

Emily changed out of her party clothes shoving on the clean set of pajamas she pulled from the armoire. The smell of the party following her through the room, she knew she needed to shower. But, she had an uneasy feeling as she ready herself for bed. If the photo booth had been out of paper why hadn't some drunk senior made a scene? Why did she keep seeing people go in and out?

Deep down Emily knew someone took those pictures. She knew "A" took those pictures. "A" was becoming the mysterious creature lurking around in the dark corners of the closet. She was parading around handing out their secrets on Save the Date cards. "A" was becoming too much of a regular presence in their lives.

But, "A" couldn't be Ali. Ali was good but Ali wasn't that good. This was becoming some well written horror movie and Ali was only 16. This took planning and LOTS of time. She sat with that thought a moment.

But, what if it wasn't "A"? What if someone, a star craved classmate, had grabbed the photos? Emily threw herself down on the bed front first. She let out a scream into the covers that was barely audible.

Emily's mind raced with thoughts of the following day. She saw herself walking into school full scale photos of them kissing draping the walls and papering the lockers. She saw people pointing and laughing, whispering to each other as she made her way down the over populated hallway.

She pictured herself walking up her front stairs of her house, her mom sitting on the patio sofa. She pictured her mother's distraught look as she held an open envelope with a long rectangle strip of paper. She thought about what her mom would say.

She imagined that some of it would be hurtful and someone of it from feelings of betrayal. Emily had never told anyone about her feelings. She had only ever experimented with Ali.

She wiggled her way up to the top of the bed. She grabbed the opposite side if the comforter tossing it over her unwilling to get in bed properly. Along with the comforter came the pillow Maya had slept on. A small amount of her lingered behind and drifted up Emily's nose.

"This sucks!" Emily flung the pillow across the room and buried her head into bed. This wasn't what love was supposed to be like. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. Was it?


	5. Chapter 5

**Season 1 Episode 4**

**Recap: Maya gives Emily the scarf as a gift. Hannah's dad calls to set up a date. Spencer, Emily, and Aria exited the cafeteria to give Hannah privacy and Emily bumps into Toby. The girls chat about him being "A" before heading off to class. **

Emily took her seat in class tugging on her new gift. It was made from the thinnest lightest material but the damn thing was choking her to death. It was like a noose around her neck and someone was slowly beginning to pull her up. She wondered if Maya had thought the kiss meant they were together. Was this supposed to be a symbol of some newly found _public _romance?

Emily tugged on the scarf again becoming short of breath. She felt as if Maya was trying to throw her into the crowd with some honking ass red clown nose to dance around and protest about liking girls.

She couldn't do that. She thought back to her conversations with Ali. Ali would always tell them there are certain situations where being different is cool and others where it gets you tossed out on your ass. Emily was positive this was a sore ass waiting to happen. Emily turned her head to both sides trying to pop her neck to relieve some of the tension this brought about.

She let her thoughts drift to Aria, Spencer, and Hannah. What would they think if they found out about Maya? She rolled her eyes. Why should she care? They had just started hanging out again. They were only speaking again because of "A". She made up her mind then and there no matter how nice she was if "A" was on fire she wouldn't even spit on him/her to put it out.

She played back Aria and Spencer fingering Toby as "A". She knew that wasn't possible. If Toby were "A" he wouldn't have saved her from being mauled by Ben. Would he? Toby didn't seem as bad ass as "A" was turning out to be. He was quite. She blamed his "bad boy" attitude on how she and the rest of the girls framed him for Jenna's accident.

She wasn't going to be bffs with the boy but she was definitely done fingering him for things he wasn't responsible for. The girls could think what they wanted but she knew Toby wasn't "A". She owed Toby a lot, probably her life and she was determined to find some way to change their suspensions.

**What the F**k**

**Toby becomes Emily's new lab partner. She opens her book to find "A" has given her a copy of her pictures with Maya.**

The slam of her book startled the class. "Holy shit!" her mind screamed as it repeated itself over and over. She looked to Toby, "He saw! Shit, he saw." She looked to the table next to her, "She saw I know she did. How couldn't she have unless she was blind."

This was a joke right? This had to be a joke Maya put them there, but how? They had exited the booth together. She made the connection, "someone else saw these! If they had these then there have to copies. What if this isn't the only one. No one would just get something as good as this and give it back. Right?"

What if it was "A"? Would "A" use this as blackmail? Of course she would, why wouldn't she. It was another dirty secret to use at a hand of poker. "Damn it." She whispered to herself.

Toby looked over to her as they waited for the teacher to start. "You ok?" Emily nodded uneasy, "Yeah." She turned her attention away quickly knowing for sure now that he saw. He knew what was wrong with her; screw him and his peeping tom eyes.

She stared at the pages of her book consumed with fear. "My life is over. My life is _literally_ over." She thought to herself. She was convinced someone else saw these and there were copies, millions of copies at that.

"I'll just go find Maya and make sure. You never know, this could be her way of showing affection since she clearly thought this was a couple thing now," her brain ran rampant with smart ass thoughts.

**Insert Foot in Mouth**

** Emily finds Maya at work to ask her about the photos. **

Emily watched Maya walk back into the building. She knew that had come across harsh but what did Maya expect? If she didn't put these pictures there someone did, would Maya's life not be ruined too if these pictures got out? Did she not care what people were going to be saying about them? "Of course not," Emily said out loud as she turned to walk away sighing from defeat.

Maya watched Emily walk away from inside the café as she leant against the wall with one hand stretch out to support her. She felt overwhelmed she knew this was too good to be true. She knew she went to fast. She thought back to the kiss, "DUMB!" her inner voice screamed. She started to lose hope. Emily couldn't do this. Emily couldn't take what came with being with her. Maya didn't want to accept that, she had already fallen in love with Emily. She knew deep down Emily felt the same.

Emily was just fighting herself. She was fighting her wants against the wants of others. She was conforming to this stupid ass town and its stupid ass ways. Maya slapped the wooden beam on the wall out of frustration and turned away from the window. "Stupid!" She said turning back to a few customers giving her confused looks. "Science project," she smiled and moved back toward the serving counter.

Emily spent the next 15 minutes walking back to her house cursing Maya. "She seriously thinks this is ok," Emily thought to herself reaching her house. "She really thinks that we can just live happily ever after with no consequences, that nobody will judge us. Everyone will just accept it and move on." Emily knew it wouldn't be like that if this was out; if she was out.

Maya was beautiful. She was sexy and smart. Every time she touched Maya there were instant chills and the butterflies that refused to move out of her stomach would fly about knocking at her walls making her a little less coordinated. Maya would capture her when her lips moved. She would hold on to every syllable that escaped her lips.

Emily never wanted their time together to end. She wanted to board up the windows and doors and live seclude just the two of them. She wanted to hold Maya at night and share laughter and tears. But, she knew she couldn't do that.

She knew this wasn't normal, this wasn't right. She couldn't do this with her. They couldn't cut themselves off from society that was impossible. They would just have to give each other space and let go. Maya would just have to accept the boundaries Emily needed to lay down so that she could survive not being able with her or to touch her like she wanted when she wanted.

Emily arrived home and hauled herself up to her room sad, depressed, and yet again defeated. It seemed like that was all she had felt since this "A" had invaded their lives. She flung her book bag on her bed causing it to bounce and she plopped down next to it. There was no reason to waste her _entire_ life she thought as she pulled out the enormous amounts of homework out. She was not Spencer, were did these teachers get off giving her all this crap.

Maya finished up her shift still thinking about Emily. She wiped the table thinking of the moment the tall sandy skinned beauty caught her eye walking over with the care package. She replayed the scene of them shot gunning, their lips almost touching.

Maya filtered through her mind and could only find the pros to their relationship. She tried but there were no cons. Emily was prefect. She was sweet and timid. She had a good heart and meant no harm. She was comfort and warmth. She is the type of person you want waiting on you at night.

"Maya?" The guy sweeping paused and called to her. "Yeah?" She looked over broken from her daydream. "You're gonna wipe a hole in the table." Maya had been making a circular motion in the same spot on the table for ten minutes. She pulled the rag away and looked down at it, the polish had left a fine brown stain on the rag. "Opps." She flashed a smile and walked to the next table reentering her daydream.

Maya finished up and headed out to her car, "Damn, why does she have to be so difficult." Maya questioned, "Why is she fighting so hard? There is nothing wrong with how we feel about each other. Is there?" Maya had all these questions and pinned up emotion there was no way she was going to be able to sleep tonight.

She pulled open the car door tossing her purse inside before settling herself into the car. She fumbled around in her purse for her phone. She pressed the end button to light up the screen. She selected the contact button and scrolled through her phone highlighting Emily's number.

She could call and explain or apologize. But, what would she explain? Would she explain she was 2 kisses away from falling madly head over heels in love with her and wanting to marry her? What would she apologize for, for being in love?

Maya knew she couldn't do any of that. She knew it would only drive Emily further away. Maya sighed, "Screw this." She threw the phone in the passenger's seat and carefully slammed both hands on the steering wheel. This was bad; she knew this was really bad. But, what could she do? If Emily was scared and pulling out of this there was nothing she could do but wait.

**Alternatives**

**Emily leaves Mr. Fitz class seeing Maya's scarf in her locker and Toby's shaving cream prank.**

Emily saw Toby's incident as a precursor. People don't like different. Emily coming out would be way different. She wondered how much it would change things. What were people capable of doing to her?

Emily headed to her next class remembering how she left things with Maya the night before; the hurt look in Maya's eyes as she attacked her about the pictures. Maya had to know she was fallen for her. She also had to know what falling for her would mean. The things that would come along with it; people are not accepting. She sat with herself the entire period thinking only of kissing Maya and being with her then the repercussions of that.

There was one thing Emily was good at, besides swimming, over analyzing EVERYTHING. She had been through the pros and cons so much that period that she finally made the cons list longer. There was just no way this was going to work with Maya.

Emily left her class heading back to her locker. She opened the locker seeing the scarf again. "I can do this," she thought to herself, rolling her eyes. She ripped the scarf down and shoved it behind her books. "She is not the only person I've ever had a crush on." She thought repacking her bag for class.

She shut her locker looking over at Toby. He had managed to get his locker cleaned out while she was in class. He looked over and shot her his awkward smile; Toby wasn't such a bad guy. He was nice, sweet, seemed smart, and he had a nice smile. See, she was attracted to guys. She tried to shove her "demon" down inside. She could do this, people do this every day. Right?

People go day to day with crushes they ignore. They just shove them down and move on. This was all Emily needed to do, avoid Maya. She needed to get away from her to clear her head to come back to reality instead of floating around in the clouds with her.

Emily made a pack with herself. She would go the entire day forcing the thoughts of Maya out of her head. She went through her classes and lunch with girls resisting the urge to dream up Maya. It worked 50% of the time. The other 50% her brain would do what it does best running wild with thoughts of them. Then, she would just be sad that she couldn't see her.

**Public Trash**

**Emily throws out the pictures of her and Maya. She has a short conversation with Toby about the pictures.**

Toby's metaphor for swimming stuck with her. She knew people didn't want her to "change". She knew being with Maya sent her heart over the moon. But, she also knew people were cruel. And, the idiots he mentioned would include her parents. A frown formed on her face, "Shit."

She faintly heard Toby's door close and she sat down on the sidewalk. She was heading back inside but her troubles seemed too big for the house. The house could only hold so much and her troubles and thoughts seemed to fill every empty space so much that there was barely room for her. She thought walking back inside would make her explode. The tight space would squish out all her secrets like a deflating blow up doll.

Plus, she was tired of her mom asking if everything was ok. She heard that question none stop in the morning and after getting home from school. On the weekend she just avoided her as much as possible which she knew was probably a dead giveaway but who cares she wasn't ready to talk and the pressure of the question was just adding to her stress.

She shook her head at the teenage turmoil she was in. She looked up to the house contemplating going back inside again. She shook her head and stood up. There was no way she was going back in that house.

She started off down the block. Emily couldn't be angry at Maya for her feelings. She couldn't be angry at Maya for very long about anything, side effects of loving someone. But, just because she loved Maya doesn't mean that didn't come without consequences, consequences she wasn't sure she was ready for.

But, she also wasn't sure if she could deal with what came with not being with her. There were times she needed Maya, days when she needed her friend and her lover. Those days would be the hardest if they agreed on "space".

She could have Toby though. Toby would be there for her. He already was in many ways. Toby would be the one person Emily could be open with. He knew her darkest secret and he didn't care. He left it up to her to decide on talking about it or leaving it alone.

She thought back to Toby's kind gestures. Toby wasn't cruel. She liked Toby. He was nice to her. She didn't feel as if he was preying on her every time they talked. But, she also wasn't sure if these were feelings of attraction or just friendship.

Emily pondering her issues on auto polit. She realized as she turned left down the street she was heading toward Maya. The heart has a funny way of getting what it wants. It wanted a glimpse of her. It wanted a hug, a kiss, or some type of closeness from her. Emily knew that couldn't be.

Emily's heart came here for something but Emily's brain and her rational side came for something totally different. It came for space and time. It came to break off whatever was forming with Maya.

**Define Space**

**Emily confronts Maya outside her work about needing space.**

Emily turned back and Maya was gone. Emily hadn't expected it to feel like this. Emily put her hand on her stomach. It felt like she had been punched in the gut. She made her way over to the bench and sat down.

She sucked in a deep breath of air and held it. Emily felt her heart break once before and it was similar to this. The feeling of being struck so hard all the air leaves your lungs and you are left dazed and confused wondering where what went wrong. A tear slid down her face as she was overcome with anxiety.

What did Maya mean when she agreed to space? Emily knew she asked for it but she didn't define it. How did Maya know what the boundaries where? Was Maya _never_ speaking to her again? What if she never heard Maya's voice again? But, Maya had said she would wait. Do people really wait now though?

Emily blew out her trapped breath. She was going to be fine; she was not the only girl to ever have her heart broken. A heart break she actually brought on herself, she shook he head. Now, she wasn't feeling too confident about what she had just done.

Emily sat a few moments regaining her composure. It was going to be fine. She kept repeating it to herself hoping the next time she said it she might start believing it. She sat for twenty minutes and every time she believed it less and less.

She hung her head and pushed herself off the bench. It was pointless to sit around reliving it. She head down the street trying to focus on her breathing and calming down before getting home. The one thing she couldn't take was another, "what's wrong?"


End file.
